Are you sitting down?  Good, ok, here goes.  I have a confession to make : I’ve recently starting dabbling in gluten-free and dairy-free baking.  There, I’ve said it.  It’s out.  Go ahead, you can judge me now.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking I’m doing this to be “cool”, cause ya know, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, egg-free, vegan-baking is all the rage right now.  Well, you’re wrong.  I’m a lot of things, but I am not trendy (says the girl who started a cupcake bakery).

For years now I’ve been a firm believer that all these food sensitivities people claim to have are  just another example of how lame we are as a society.  Yet another example of the fact that those who live in developed counties don’t have to worry about, oh I don’t, SURVIVING anymore, so we starting coming up with other stuff to worry about, like, for instance, seasonal depression.

In the words of Chris Rock…

“You think anyone in Rwanda’s got a fucking lactose intolerance?”

Funny, all that changed a few months ago when I started experiencing some weird symptoms.  I won’t bore you with the details cause it’s sort of  a long story and this isn’t that kind of blog, but basically it boils down to this: I might have a food sensitivity.  Oh, excuse me while I take my foot out of my mouth (thankfully my sensitively isn’t to my feet cause they end up there quite often).

When the possibility of a food sensitivity was first suggested to me I, of course, balked.  “I don’t believe in food sensitivities” I said.  Since then I’ve done a lot of research in the area of food allergies, sensitivities and intolerance and, well, I gotta say, I’ve learned a lot, namely, that I’ve been kind of a jerk when it comes to this topic.

Turns out the reason that people who live in places like Rwanda don’t have food sensitivities is because they are probably still eating the way their ancestors did a thousand years ago.  In other words, the way humans evolved to eat.  Food sensitivities tend to be more prevalent in developed countries because, basically, we have the “luxury” of eating a bunch of crap that our bodies haven’t really had time to adapt to.  I could go on and on about this topic, but you and I both know that if you’re looking for scientific evidence or concrete data on just about anything, chances are you’re not looking for it at Naughty Little Cupcake.  So, I’m going to cease my rant and instead share this awesome cookie recipe I’ve stumbled upon.

They’re what I like to call The Big 3-Free Cookies, the big 3 being gluten, dairy and eggs.  Behold…

Below is all you’ll need to make these cookies.

Front row: walnuts, dates.  Back row: maple syrup, grapeseed oil, kosher salt, nutmeg, vanilla, cinnamon.

Ingredients -

• 2 cups walnuts or pecans
• 12-ish dates, pitted
• 2 tsp grapeseed oil
• 3 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp nutmeg
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt (I like to use kosher, not because I’m Jewish, but because the flaky consistency incorporates quickly)
• 4 to 5 tbs pure maple syrup (you worth it, don’t settle for maple flavored high fructose corn syrup)
• 1 cup unsweetened, shredded coconut (optional)

Directions -

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Place walnuts and dates in a food processor and pulse until coarsely ground.  Pulse in oil, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt.  Contiue to pulse until mixture begins to form a ball.

2. Remove mixture from food processor and tranfer to a large mixint bowl.  Add maple syrup and mix well.  Add coconut and mix until thoroughly blended.

3.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, or if you don’t have any parchment just lightly grease your baking sheet with some of the grapeseed oil.  Scoop a little more than a tablespoon of the dough, roll it into a ball and place it on the baking sheet.  Make an indention in the ball with your thumb or fore finger.

4.  Bake for 12 to 15 minutes until slightly firm and brown on the bottom.  Allow to cool on the baking sheet for 15 minutes.

Note:  While it may be tempting, do not eat these cookies hot and fresh out of the oven.  They need some time to set up.  Be patient.  Take a walk around the block or YouTube some old Chris Rock stand-up while you wait.

Now, I’m not going to tell you that you won’t even notice that these cookies don’t have flour, dairy or eggs in them, because  it’s really quite obvious that they don’t, so you will.  What I will tell you is that you won’t care because they are very tasty little treats that can stand on their own without the “these-cookies-don’t-have-conventional-cookie-ingredients-in-them” introduction.  When you serve these cookies to guests, don’t feel compelled to mention that they don’t contain wheat, dairy or eggs; your guests will think you think they are stupid for stating what is so clearly apparent.

The only down side to these cookies is that they kind of look like miniature sausage patties.  Really.  I had some of these cookies in my pack recently when I was out for a day of back country skiing .  When my friend and I stopped for a snack I pulled them out and started munching away.  My friend suddenly stopped his munching, gave me a strange look and asked,  “Are you eating breakfast sausage?”

I tried taking A LOT of pictures of these cookies for this post and no matter what I did they still looked like sausage patties.  I’m sure a trained photographer could have made them look like cookies, but I’m a baker, not a photographer.  Here, see what I mean…

Jimmy Dean, eat your heart out!

This recipe was adapted from one that I found in the November issue of ‘Delicious Living’, you know, that free mag they give away at health food stores.

As the owner/operator of a business called The Naughty Little Cupcake Company you can only imagine my absolute surprise and utter delight when I pulled this gem out of the ground in our green house several weeks ago.

I mean seriously, how cool, right?  I’m almost embarrassed to admit how excited I was to find these copulating carrots.  I had to talk myself down from taking this as a “sign”, although I can’t imagine what some higher power could possible be trying to say by sending me vegetable porn?

Anyhow, all naughtiness aside, I can’t help but imagine a love story if you will; 2 tiny carrot seeds happen to be placed side by side in the spring, they sprout and grow together through the summer and eventually, by the fall, end up wrapped around one another in a sweet greenhouse love affair.  That is until I come along and rip them out of their bed of soil then chop and puree them to death so they can become part of my Curried Carrot Soup.  I’m a sucker for romance (and soup).

Curried Carrot Soup really has no business on this blog as it is the least like cupcakes of anything I can imagine, but it was insanely delicious so I might as well share it with you…

• 2 tbs butter
• 1 cup chopped onion
• 1 to 3 tsp curry powder depending on your tastes (I used yellow curry)
• course salt and pepper to taste
• 3 1/2 cups vegetable broth
• 2 pounds carrots, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks
• 1 cup water
• 1 to 2 whole garlic cloves

Heat butter in a dutch oven or large saucepan over medium heat.  Add onion, curry powder salt and pepper.  Cook, stirring occasionally, until onion is soft, about 5 minutes.

Add broth, carrots, water and garlic gloves; bring to a boil.  Reduce heat, cover and simmer until carrots are tender, about 20 minutes.

In a food processor or blender puree soup in small batches until smooth ; transfer to a clean saucepan.  Add more water to thin to desired consistancy.  Reheat if necessary.

Note: remember that hot liquids expand when blended so don’t over-fill your food processor or blender.

Thanks to Angela Kuepper for the original Curried Carrot Soup recipe, which I have tweaked considerably here.

Let me start off with an apology; I realize that I have gravely disappointed my loyal readers out there (all 4 of you) by not posting since July.  While there can be no acceptable excuse for my bad behavior and laziness, I must admit, I had fun trying to come up with excuses as to why I haven’t posted in nearly 2 and a half months.  Some of the best are as follows…

-Death in the family.  This seemed like a good one at first, but it would be my luck that I would make such a statement and then actually have a death in the family.  Clearly, for those of us that are supersitious, this is never a good excuse.

-My computer crashed.  See explanation above.

-I forgot my blog administer password.  This also seemed like a good one at first glance, but then I realized it would just make me look like an idoit and I am a lot of things but I am not an idiot.

-Learned I am allergic to sugar and wheat and was so devastated by the news that I could never eat another cupcake that I went into hiding.  This one is just too scary to even contemplate.  Yikes.

-I got thrown in jail.  Not something you generally share with people even when it’s true (from what I hear, of course), so why lie about it, right?

-I hit a deer while on a road trip and was stranded for a week while my truck was repaired.  Um, wait.  Wrong list.  This one actually happened.  Long story short: hit buck on day 4 of what was suppose to be a 7-day kayaking vaca, truck nearly totaled but we’re ok, stuck in Ketchum, ID for a week while truck receives over $5,000 in repairs, missed a week of work, did a bunch of mtn biking while we were stuck there, the mtn biking was sweeeeet and temporarily helped us forget that we were losing a bunch of money by missing work, learned there are far worse places in this world to be stuck than Ketchum, came home to CO and still didn’t do any blog updates.

Truth be told, I’ve just been really busy.  I know.  Anti-climatic, right?  But it’s true.  Between Naughty Little Cupcake, my “real” job at the kayak shop, my boyfriend, my girlfriends and friends that are boys, paddling, mtn biking, trail running, wreaking my truck and laundry I’ve just been really, ridiculously busy.  So, there it is.  I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.

The good news is that things seem to be slowing down a bit and I’ve got some really great ideas for upcoming blog posts.  My goal is 2 posts/month.  I think by actually sharing that goal I will at the very least be guilt-ed into posting more regularly from here on out.

Thanks for sticking with me, loyal readers.  Stay tuned and thanks for checking out the blog.

Naughty Little Cupcake Company is making it’s big debut this weekend at the Collegiate Peaks Music Festival!

If you’re going to be in the area stop by, say hi, enjoy a cupcake and shake it to some rad music (that’s what I’ll be doing when I’m not busy selling cupcakes).  If you’re not going to be in the area, well, you should probably re-think that decision.  Cancel whatever other plans you might have and get your ass to Buena Vista, CO!  Trust me.  It’s gonna be a ridiculously good time and you’re not going to find my cupcakes anywhere else.  Need more convincing?  Below is my menu for the weekend…

• T.M.F Cupcake (Tiff’s Most Favorite) – lovely yellow cake topped with creamy chocolate buttercream frosting and sprinkles.

• 5-Spice Kick Cake – moist spice cake topped with sweet and spicy chai frosting.

• Classic Carrot Cupcake – hearty carrot cake topped with heavenly cream cheese frosting and chopped pecans.

• Buttermilk Chocolate Cake – rich chocolate cake topped with creamy chocolate buttercream frosting and chocolate shavings.

• Strawberry Shortycake – delicate white cake topped with fresh pureed strawberry frosting.

• The Car-Bomb Cupcake – dense Guinness chocolate cake topped with a hint of Baileys Irish Cream Frosting and chocolate shavings.

You can buy Naughty Little Cupcakes individually or you can step it up and buy a Sextet of Naughties (6 for the price of 5).  The first 3 people to mention this blog post get a free cupcake (for real, no kidding, I do not make this stuff up)!

As if sweet music and sweeter cupcakes weren’t enough there will also be some pretty cool after parties happening on Friday and Saturday night.  See the music fest website for more details.

Look forward to seeing you!

Starting a business is great fun; brainstorming the name and themes, baking cupcakes, eating cupcakes, baking and eating more cupcakes, working out logo design, working out to burn off  the calories from eating all the cupcakes, designing business cards, second-hand store shopping for unique trays, cake stands and displays for showcasing my cupcakes, creating this blog, blogging on the blog, hitting up fabric stores to select cool, vintagy fabrics so I can make cute little aprons for my girlfriends to wear while working my cupcake booth this summer at the Collegiate Peaks Music Festival, day dreaming about the paint, chairs and saucers I’d want to use in my storefront that is still years from being a reality, wondering what kind of music I’ll play at said storefront during business hours and on and on.

It’s all been so creative! and conceptual!  and inspiring! and awesome!  Weeeeeee!

And just when I was really starting to get the hang of this whole starting a business thing, ya know, really getting good at it — WHAM!!!

I ran smack into the brick wall called “actually starting a business”.

Ouch.  That hurt and this sucks.  Apparently all the stuff I just mentioned isn’t really starting a business, it’s, um, well, it’s just me having fun.

Turns out  “actually starting a business” is actually kind of hard work.  If this were a competition, like Me vs. Starting a Business, I’d pretty much be getting my ass handed to me right now.  It’s not like I thought it was going be easy, I just didn’t think it would be this hard (if that’s not already the name of a country music song, it should be).  When I committed to giving this cupcake business a try I knew I was going to be exposed to vast amounts of new information, concepts and ideas.   After all, my educational background is in environmental sciences, not business, so I was expecting to learn a lot and be challenged.  What I wasn’t expecting was the endless list of licenses, fees, permits, paper work, forms and hoops I have to apply for, pay for, fill out, sign my name on and jump through.  Serious creativity killer.

It’s all so routine (!) and tedious (!) and monotonous (!) and brain numbing (!)  Yawn.

Below is my checklist as of today:

• Finish the business plan and turn it into business adviser for review (60% done)
• Unit cost analysis (which is technically part of the biz plan, but is a big enough task that it warrants it’s very own bullet)
• Appointment with the Colorado Small Business Development Center  (done)
• Look over logo proofs, pick one, use new logo to create NLCC banner, business cards and update blog (nearly done)
• Get a PO box in the NLCC name (done)
• Register trade name for Naughty Little Cupcake Company (done)
• Open a bank account under D.B.A Naughty Little Cupcake Company (done)
• Obtain a Colorado State Tax ID Number from the Secretary of State Office using form CR1100, $20
• Apply for a town of Buena Vista business license, $20
• Apply for a Single Event License on form DR 0859 “Special Event Application”, $8
• Apply for a Retail Food Establishment License through the Colorado State Department of Health $255
• Register for Safe Food Handling classes through Department of Health, cost unknown
• Talk to my insuracne agent about business insurance
• Tour the commercial kitchen I’ll be using at the Evergreen Cafe (thanks Barb!), find out rules, get keys made and have an ‘agreement of use’ letter notarized at City Hall (done)
• Fill out the Vendor Application for the Collegiate Peak Music Festival, due June 1, $80
• Look into financial assistance programs for first-time women business owners (fingers crossed something like this even exists?)

Awww man,  I just want to bake cupcakes and sell them to people.

My first batch of business cards…

I’m anxiously waiting the arrival of the “official” NLCC logo so I can create some real cards, but this will get me by in the meantime.  I’ve distributed the cards at various local businesses throughout the valley and I’m pleased to report I’ve already had a couple of inquiries (pause while I high-five myself!).

This little idea of mine is starting to feel more and more real every day.  The part of me that isn’t scratching my head in amazement is absolutely thrilled.  I’m still struggling with how the whole idea of starting a cupcake business even found it’s way into my brain, but I’m going with it for the time being.